Here I am standing at the base of yet another mountain in my life. This seemingly impossible height to traverse. It looks steep and smooth, no footholds or places to grab hold. Where do i start how do I begin to climb? I hear the voice, that oh so familiar one that says I will never make it so why even try. That little devil sitting on my shoulder spouting lies and disbelief and it seems so easy to believe it, to stay stuck in where I am now and to never try.
Yet at the same time I hear God say will you trust me? Will you take my hand and walk? Will you climb? and I am left with a choice. Do I believe my eyes? or do I trust what I can not see?
it’s a hard place to be, standing at that base trying to figure out what to do. My heart cry’s trust and fly, while my mind convinces me to never try. My eyes tell me it’s impossible while my God says try.
As I make my choice I begin to see the way. I will trust is all I say. And then the hard part truly begins. For once I start I end up stuck. Half way up and the path I once saw so clearly has faded or even disappeared. I’m left hanging with my strength all but gone. Wondering if I let go how far is it down?
When I let go I will fall that just the way it is, that is the law of this world. Yet part of me says go ahead fall and watch what you will fall into? I know you feel like you will plummet to your death down to the hard earth below but you know HE is there right behind you, and when you fall you will fall into HIS arms, His hands are waiting for you to let go and trust. Trust that HE will provide. That those who trust in the Lord shall renew their strength they will mount up on wings like eagles they will run and not grow weary they will run and not faint. That they who put their trust in the Lord will not be put to shame.
Yet here i am clinging to this mountain wall trying my best to do things in my own strength, for after all that is all I can do right??? I must do all I can do to accomplish my goals. To be obedient to the call. Have I forgotten that I am to trust and obey? That it is as simple as that to trust and obey. To let go of my own ways and trust that God will be God and HE will accomplish all that HE has purposed? That it is only in CHRIST that I can do all things? That it is only in MY weakness that He is made strong in me? that it is only when I am dependent that I am free??? So why is this so hard to just let go, trust, and be free?
tumblrbot asked: WHAT IS YOUR EARLIEST HUMAN MEMORY?
Playing barbies with my best friend beth sitting in my very pink bedroom =) then her older brother came up and popped the head off my barbie =( thankfully my mom fixed it
You know those people who are completely controlled by their passion? The ones who know everything there is to know, whose face lights up when it mentioned. The people whose life is dedicated to their one driving force… I wish I was one of them…
I want to write
I want to be profound
but when all is said and done it seems like all I’m left with are shallow words and empty sounds…
Whats the point of speaking
and whats the point of being heard
if your only making a bunch of clanging noise?
If I speak with the tongues of men and of angles… is running through my mind
If I can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge is on repeat in my head
So whats the point of being heard?
Whats the point in saying words
talk is cheap after all and actions still speak louder than words
But there all I have here in this online world
There the means by which I communicate
the forum through which my thoughts can be heard.
But if the point of them all is to bring glory to I
to point to myself and show how great I am
to have the whole world be amazed by me
then it’s just meaningless bable that should never have been heard
for if its not motivated by love for the sake of LOVE than is really worth being said at all???
I MISS YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate to say it but I took you for granite when you were in my life. I didn’t think I was all that close with you till you left. It was then that I realized you had become such a big part of my life. You are someone who i can run to with any problem, or when i am excited about something silly, or when I have a random idea, or crazy idea, or for anything at all. I know I always said you were my sister but I didn’t realize what that meant till you were no longer by my side. I don’t when we got so close, I’m pretty sure it was a slow day to day thing as we both began to open up and share with one another. But I am thankful that I can call you friend and sister now.
I want you to know I am praying for you as you learn what its really like to be a missionary, how to deal with differences, and being out on your own. I can’t wait to see what God is going to do through you. Don’t grow impatient with where you are at now. God has you right where He needs you and you may never know why your there but HE does and thats what matters. learn all you can while you can. don’t neglect the small things nor despise the hard lessons. Keep you chin up and eyes focused and you will be able to walk the tightrope of life with no difficulty!
I loves you girl girl and can’t wait for the day I get to hug your neck again!
I miss you. Thank you for being the amazing women of God that you are. Some of you I thought I would be close to for the rest of my life but that obviously isn’t the case, cause here I am writing to you. =( I hope all is going well in your lives and tat you are closer to God than you ever have been before. I guess I’ll see you in heaven someday then we’ll be rommies (of a different kind I guess) again =)
Dear Andrew and Jen,
This may come as a surprise but I know you will cut me out of your life when I speak my mind. I love both of you, and I know you won’t really believe me but it’s still true. I love you both but cannot accept you two as a couple. I know you both feel as if you are doing nothing wrong by following your hearts but I can not look at the fruit of this relationship and call it good. No relationship that results in dividing a godly family can i ever call good. I love you both (and yes I know i may sound like a broken record but it’s all I can do) and really wish we can still be close but unless you two have changed you will be writing me out of your lived the moment you know where I stand. I’m praying for both of you and will be there for you if I can. so once again I still love you, I just wish you would understand…
I wish you would die and stay dead! I really mean that. you should realize that you are dead and I am a new creation in Christ, so why do you keep trying to take over again….? Dead things don’t take over they’re dead! So die!