Dear Grandpa,

   You don’t know me but I’m your granddaughter, one of Marie’s kids. I never got to meet you because you got to see Jesus before I was born. =( I’m kinda sad about that, I think we would have got along well with each other. Mom says you would have loved me and that you would have sat me down in the living room and worship God with me. When I hear her talking about you I think it’s almost unfair that I never got to meet you on earth. But I know God’s timing is perfect so I guess I’ll just see you in heaven.

Dear friend,

    We should talk more. I am not sure why we don’t talk that much now but we don’t and I think that should change… like now!

Dear Husband,

I wish you were here already. In case you are reading this and know who you are… I am praying for you. I have been for quite some time. So have my parents. i remember they would pray for me and my brothers every night before we went to bed. They prayer was always the same… Lord I ask you to help them to fall asleep quickly to grow up to love righteousness and hate evil. Keep sickness far far away from them and Lord even now prepare their mate for them and help them both to keep themselves pure until the day they are married, In Jesus name amen.

I can’t wait for the day we meet, the day when we both know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is the person God has created us for. I wonder what you will look like at times, but I am more concerned about your character… I know you will be handsome and to me the most attractive guy on the face of the planet, but all of that will pale in comparison the the integrity I know you will have. The passion with which you pursue God will inspire me to draw closer to Him. I know you will be amazing, I mean if it takes God this long to make sure your where you need to be for me to have you you gotta be out of this world! =)

Anyway, just so you know I will love you till the day I die and will be here waiting patiently (at times) for you to ask me to be your wife.

Dear Celeste!

I love you like a monkey likes flinging poo… at least I think monkey like flinging poo…. o.O Anywho you are my favorite internet friend because well… your the first person that popped into my head. I am always happy to see Celeste has posted something on your wall on my facebook. It makes me happy and concerned all at the same time. I almost wish there were words to describe us but I have found that the reaction of people just starring and then shrug their shoulders in disbelief is much more fun! i <3 use!

Dearest Benhamine,

I hope you are doing well. I will probably never forget the first time I met you. To be honest I was a little concerned about having to work with a guy who dressed like that. With your spike choker necklace black band shirt and big strapped pants. I was a little frightened by your appearance.  Thank You for being your amazing self, for it helped me see past appearances and get to know the heart of a person. Little did I know I would end up giving you my heart. It’s odd telling others about you, for my face still lights up and I still get a ridiculous smile on my face, but you no longer have my heart. I don’t know when I fell in love with you, but I did. People may not understand how I can say I loved you but we never went out, we were never in a relationship, in fact we were never more than friends, but that’s okay. I am happy you have found yourself an amazing woman of God who challenges you to be a better man. And I wish Gods best in your life! Blessing upon your head my brother! I can’t wait to see you again, whenever that may be. =)

Dear person I don’t know,

How are you today? I hope you are well! I’m not sure why you are reading this but you are so i would like to take a moment to say there is a person who loves you more than you can fully understand. No I’m not talking about your Mommy or the “love of your life” I am talking about your creator God. You see things got all mixed up with the whole Adam Eve Fruit deal and now were stuck dealing with that. But God knew that was going to happen just like He knew the day you were going to be born and the number of hairs that are on your head, or how many used to be there (o.O) and he loved you enough to make sure that you wouldn’t have to be parted from Him, because after all that is what we humans were designed for. To not only know God but to be known by Him too. So just so you know Jesus that guy who’s name you like to use as a four letter word (even though there are clearly five letters to the word) died to pay the price that was required for you to know God personally again. All it takes on your part is to confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart. Once you really really really do and mean that god will dwell in you, and not in some creepy I have an alien inside of me kninda of way or a parasitic way either. but more of a hey buddy i’m here kinda way. Then you will begin to see what life’s really about and get to do some really cool stuff with God!

~Me~

My dreams seem to keep changing…

I remember being a little girl and all I wanted to be was a stay at home Mom. That gave way to simply being and doing whatever God had for me.

As I grew up I thought I would be a worship leader, but then God said He was going to take my voice, so that must not have been it.

I dreamed of being a pastor maybe, I can seem to preach fairly well and people feel comfortable talking with me. But that didn’t seem quite right.

I gave up on dreaming for awhile for I seemed to have no dream. There was nothing for me to dream about.

I now dream of the day I will be married to the worlds most amazing man, who will be just a passionate about me as I am about God and even more passionate about God than I am. I dream of how it will be being a missionary in other countries and what that might look like.

I dream of ways that I can express God’s heart to a world that doesn’t know Him.

But most of all I dream of the day I will see my savior face to face. for that I can’t wait!

William,

I can’t believe your getting married! I have so many memories of us both good and some bad. Like the time I got hit with that pipe, or when you gave me a necklace for my birthday that was a little doll, I was so sad when that broke. I remember thinking you were a jerk and that you didn’t love me, that you only really cared about your brothers, I remember being hurt when you said you would never go to a movie with me again after being asked if I was your girlfriend. I remember being really proud of you when you started a student ministry at CFNI. I remember you coming home for break once and although i really wanted to go to the movies with you and the boys you told me not to go, that hurt, but then you wrapped me in your arms and told me that you loved me, that made it not hurt so much. I remember the look of shock on so many peoples faces when they learned that I was your sister, and how they would get on your case about being a better brother to me despite the fact I explained how things just never seemed to work with our work schedules. I remember how you paid for me to have a cell phone and then said i could call you a jerk when you couldn’t do it anymore. (which I never did say you were a jerk for that) I remember how you used to complain about the girl your now marrying, and how you wished things would just progress. I remember a lot of different things from over the years, but I am sure of one thing… I am sure that I love you and that you really do love me! No matter how I may feel or how little we get to talk or spend time with each other I never really can doubt the fact that you love me. Thank you for being a good older brother. I love you Will!

Andrew,

There is so much I wish I could tell you, but sadly I don’t think you would really hear me. I love you so much and am praying for you. I wish your eyes would be open to see things as they really are. I wish that you wouldn’t be so proud and stubborn. I wish that we could be closer than we are. I wish that for whatever reason you had never kicked me out of your life. I wish I could be there for you in the ups and downs. That you would be certain of the fact that I love you and I really am for you even if you don’t think so. I love you bro more than words can say, just wish you could understand that.

Ethan,

I am proud of you! I am proud of the person you are becoming, and proud of the man i know you will be. I wish we would talk more but neither of us really likes the whole phone deal and we work opposite schedules so that doesn’t work out for us. I miss you so much. I know I don’t say it all the time but I do. I love you! And will kill any girl that messes with your heart, just let me know ho and I’ll take her down… just saying =) But I don’t think you would be that foolish with your heart though.

Adam,

My dear dear brother. I am so proud of how you are growing. I want to challenge you to do hard things. To not limit yourself. You can do more than you realize if you will only try. Don’t give up because it is hard press through and see what the results will be! Watch and see how you develop skills and muscle from pressing though, through learning new things and being all God created you to be! i loves you!!!!

Aaron,

My marshmallow man! You have such a sweet sweet spirit, don’t lose that! You have much growing ahead of you. Many battles to face and lessons to learn. Life will not always be as you want it to be, and God is going to ask things of you that you might think impossible. But do not grow weary in the midst of the battles. You are a might warrior, even now I fell God is teaching your hands to war. You will achieve great and mighty things for God, the thing is they might not seem like it this side of heaven. I encourage you to grow stronger in prayer, to learn to seek first His kingdom, to rest in His arms, and to be obedient the first time around. I love you kiddo!

Dear Mom and Dad,

You might never read this but here it goes anyway. I love you! I may not remember the day we first met, but I am sure you both do. =) Words can not express how thankful I am that you are my parents. You both have been such an encouragement to me, an example for me to follow, and shoulders for me to stand on.

Daddy, I love you just doesn’t seem like enough. The way I feel for you is beyond words. There is no action to display or thoughts to convey just how I feel for you. You are my Daddy! And that will never change. No matter how things around us may change you will always be the one I know I can call when I’m in a pickle. You will always be the shoulder I want to cry one, the arms that I want to be in, and the voice I long to hear. You have done an amazing job in raising me and I am doing my best to be a daughter you can be proud of. Although I know you already are.

Mom, gee what can I say about you??? You have put up with a lot from me and still you love me. At times I don’t know why but those are the times you tell me I will understand when I have kids of my own. Thank you for not being able to turn the Mom feelings off! You have raised me in such a manner that I am only now seeing the benefits of it. For all your pushing me when I didn’t want to, for all the times you drug me along with you, made me wrap blankets, plan outreaches, be your right hand and/pr your brain. Thank You! Know that all your effort was not in vain. I would not be the woman I am today (and yes that’s what I am despite the fact you still see me as your little girl) if it were not for all that you have poured into me. I love you!

So other than all that, I blame both of you for how I am today. Strong willed determined and passionate not for life but for THE LIFE! The life that is only found in death, in putting others beofre yourself, and living not just for but in God! You may never know how many lives you have touched just by being my parents and pouring into me. Making sure that I would grow up to be a woman who “loved righteousness and hated evil” A woman who is pure and unashamed of who she is and Who’s she is.

Oh and Daddy! I blame you for the fact I’m still single, well almost… If you hadn’t been so good I wouldn’t have the standard I do now and probably would have settled by now,… then again it’s probably more Mom’s fault than anything else with her Don;t marry the wrong person!?!??! Don’t settle for anything less than Gods best! Who you marry will make or break you.. being repeated over and over and over and over and over and over again. =) I guess it’s both of yours fault! =P

ummm…. about that…… I don’t have one ^_^y